


even sunny days have shadows

by alexanderlightweight



Series: Words of October 2019 [14]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad Days, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, References to Depression, Soft Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 03:03:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20941226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexanderlightweight/pseuds/alexanderlightweight
Summary: there doesn't have to be a reason for a day to go wrong.  the sun can still shine but your mind grow dark and all the love in the world won't be enough to keep you from slipping.  all someone can do is their best to help you back up.





	even sunny days have shadows

**Author's Note:**

> fictober fill prompt 5: I might just kiss you

The loft was dim when Alec entered, void of music or life and bitterly cold. 

“Magnus?” He asked as he stepped into their home. There was no reply and he frowned thoughtfully, looking down at his phone to see if he had any new messages from his husband. There wasn’t and he waited a moment longer before heading towards the open balcony, “Magnus?” He called, the feeling of relief at seeing his husband looking out over the railing muted by his concern.

Magnus turned to face him and smiled but it was all wrong; a soft and deliberate softening of his lips while his eyes remained distant. “Forgive me Alec, I lost track of time. What did you have in mind for dinner? Though why choose, we can have a bit of everything!” 

He flung out his hand as if to summon something and Alec caught it gently. He knew Magnus could break out of a hold no matter how tightly he gripped, but he kept his grasp loose.

“Bad day?” He asked and when Magnus just shrugged and raised an imperious brow, Alec carefully let go of his hand. “I’m not actually all that hungry just yet,” he admitted. “I might go change first, is that alright?” 

“Of course, I have a few papers to look over. Take your time,” Magnus said and offered another per-functionally and perfectly manicured smile that made Alec’s heart ache in response. 

In their bedroom Alec shed his clothes, only taking the time to store his stele and phone before he dumped them all into the hamper. They weren’t really dirty but it was easier to focus on his goal than deal with unimportant distractions like putting things away. 

The tub was filled easily enough, the magic and sigils engraved on it would ensure it stayed fresh and hot without going tepid. He elected not to use a bath bomb, not wanting to waste one if Magnus didn’t feel like soaking. 

Next was a small plate of snacks, easily sliced cheese and apples and some of the biscuits that always made Magnus smile in a fond wistful way. Then he made two mugs of tea, fragrant and delicate with just a hint of honey to sweeten it that he carefully arranged on the coffee table. 

“I thought you weren’t hungry?” Magnus asked as he walked into the room, a frown forming on his face even as he reached over and snatched a biscuit from the plate. 

“Well I thought that maybe you might want to just sit down for a moment, with me?”

“Oh, have I been neglecting you?” Magnus asked, leaning in for a kiss and Alec met him, letting Magnus set the pace and being unsurprised when what started as a firm kiss turned into a soft caress of lips. Alec waited and finally Magnus exhaled, the tension in his frame loosening as he pressed his cheek to Alec’s. 

They swayed in the silence of the loft and Magnus sighed, “I don’t really feel like dinner.”

“A bath?” Alec offered, trying not to seem overeager, “or some tea?” 

“As lovely as a bath sounds, I think tea in bed with you sounds like perfection.” Magnus said, trying to insinuate his normal flirtation but it fell flat.

Tea was sipped in bed, their arms pressed together until their mugs were emptied and Alec collected them, placing them on the side table to be put away later. 

“Come here,” he offered and Magnus followed, lying down almost directly on top of him and Alec hummed as they settled. This was an old dance, fitting together comfortably and once they were settled, he began to gently card his fingers through Magnus’ hair. 

“Bad day,” Magnus finally admitted, “no real reason for it.”

“You don’t have to have a reason for a bad day,” Alec reminded him gently. Repeating what Magnus always told him, “it can just be a bad one.”

Magnus huffed, breath tickling Alec’s chest, “stop using my own advice against me, Alexander.” 

“I’m just quoting the smartest man I know.”

“You’re hilarious, you are.” Magnus muttered and then sighed again, “you’d think that after hundreds of years I’d have learned to ignore days like these. Or find a way to not have them, but no such luck. They still creep up on me.”

Alec hummed soothingly, knowing that there was no argument he could make or comfort he could give that would make Magnus feel better about this. 

“I was looking forward to a nice, relaxed meal with you too.” Magnus continued, “I knew exactly where I was going to summon dinner from and I had plans for dessert as well.”

Alec didn’t doubt that. He also knew from the outfit Magnus had been wearing and the new sheets on their bed exactly what kind of dessert his husband had planned for. 

“We have time, we can have dinner _ and _ that dessert you planned tomorrow, or even next week. Nothing’s ruined just because it got delayed.” He promised and pressed a kiss to Magnus’ hair tenderly.

“Stop being reasonable, pup. _ I’m _ the reasonable one.”

“Does that make me the unreasonable one in this relationship?” Alec teased, ignoring the nickname this once and receiving a poke to his ribs for his comment. He chuckled and Magnus pressed a kiss to his chest.

“I wish the world didn't exist beyond us sometimes.”

Alec just hummed again and settled the hand not playing with Magnus’ hair on his neck. The muscles were tense and coiled and Alec rubbed at them softly, feeling the way Magnus adjusted and knowing that his husband was in pain.

“Why don’t we cancel tomorrow then?” He offered, it really didn’t matter to him what they did and if canceling their plans would ease Magnus’ mind than that seemed the perfect solution.

“We have lunch with your siblings and then drinks with Cat tomorrow.” 

“It can be postponed,” Alec promised him.

“Cat doesn’t get a lot of time off,” Magnus said even though he sounded like the last thing he wanted to do was argue, “and she planned for Madzie to be at a friends place.”

“Alright then, my siblings can be postponed,” he amended, “and Catarina can either meet us here or we’ll go to her place.”

“If your siblings find out we canceled on them but not Catarina it won’t be pretty.” Magnus said and Alec took a breath and rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, taking a moment to count backwards. 

“Magnus, if you really want to see my siblings that bad then we can see them. If you’re arguing because you feel obligated to, can I remind you of all the times they’ve shown up unannounced or canceled on us? Also that you don’t need a reason or an excuse to reschedule. If they want to be offended than they can bring it up to me.”

“Really?” Magnus asked, "I know you love them but they can be relentless when they feel slighted."

“Catarina is one of your oldest and dearest friends,” Alec said softly, “and my siblings are just that. _ My _ siblings. Just because they’re related to me doesn’t mean that suddenly they get to be privy to every part of our life or that anyone expects you to be as comfortable with them as you are with your friends. I love them dearly and I know you care for them but if I don’t want to be around them on my bad days, why should I expect you to?” 

“I might just kiss you, Alexander.” Magnus told him, “later though. All the kisses later.”

“Whatever you want,” Alec promised him.

“Very well. Then right now I want to nap with you and when we wake up, we can either have dinner or a bath or go back to sleep and tomorrow I’ll see if Cat is up to visiting us here.”

Magnus seemed to relax fully now that they'd come to an agreement, even going so far as snapping his fingers and leaving them both bare skinned and under a luxurious quilt. It startled Alec but he didn’t do more than shiver in surprise, not wanting to disturb Magnus who was pressed contentedly against him.

“I love you,” Alec said after a few moments when Magnus’ breathing had evened out and he stroked along the muscles of his back soothingly as he fell asleep. Nothing was magically solved but maybe the next day would be better but if it wasn’t, then Alec would be there all the same. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was just thinking about how immorality doesn't magically stop Magnus from having bad days and I just wrote the aftermath of Alec having a meltdown and I wanted to do it the other way. because relationships are being their for each other and there is no perfectly divided way to care for one another, you just are there when they need it and do what you can and vice versa. 
> 
> also not everyone has the same kind of bad days, not all mental health is the same.   

> 
> I'm on tumblr as [alexanderlightweight](https://alexanderlightweight.tumblr.com)


End file.
